The Bar
by LadyPaige
Summary: A rewrite of what happened in the gay bar.


I never understood humans; not their logic in leaving themselves so open to the world's physical pain and emotional turmoil, their sheer stupidity of believing they would live long prosperous lives when there were so many back stabbers, revenge seekers and people unguided by a code riding around with their own Dark Passenger, just waiting to catch someone when they were vulnerable; drinking and dancing, even as they slept, completely unaware of danger.

I had always been a recluse. I did not need anyone to guide me, not anymore, I had my code and with the disguise of a perfectly normal human being to hide my dark intensions, my Dark Passenger, no one would ever truly know me. Not that anyone would ever want to.

A lot of people knew what I was, even when you exclude those whom I had killed just to satisfy my Dark Passenger. Lila had been too emotional, even for a human. She had a immense fear of dying, choosing to live life in everyway she wanted, never wasting a moment. Although instead of making her self better or doing everything she could do in life, she did the quickest things to get pleasure and happiness, she could find; drugs, partying, sex. As I said before, she had a major fear of dying. She would not let anything ever be taken from her and this had made her dangerous.

It was the same for most of the others, they always became dangerous. Miguel was like Jordan Chase, a man with need to be in control and have others serve his needs. I do not serve and I would not be used. Trinity was disturbed; sadistic Dark Passenger whispering into the ear of a messed up child. Shit had happened to me, you don't see me crying about it.

What about Travis? I hear you cry. Travis was a nut, plain and simple. He was an insane man who would not accepted the other part of him, the demon in the backseat, just like Trinity. Unlike Trinity who had managed to only kill a few people once a year, like a holiday, making them into giant bursts of stress relief, which he used to cope, while all that time believing himself to be human. Travis blamed his insanity and his need on Religion. Dexter! Who could do such a thing?! Could someone really use Religion as an excuse like that? Well a lot of wars, revenge killings and general good old I want to kill so just blame something else, murders but aside from that... Wait, no, terrorism acts. Blaming Religion when the issue was really a political view was not uncommon.

Doakes and Lumen had both understood me, only slightly but in both cases I believed that given time they could truly understand me, if I could be fully understood that is. I knew that even thought Doakes may have understood that little bit of me, he would never let me keep on killing and if he ever could, he would quickly regret it like Deb had. He said he understood but he was just trying to make me turn myself in. Lumen needed my dark side and I needed her, not as a partner in crime but just as she was. I needed someone to understand who I was, both my darkness and I. Someone who could love me for who I really was. She used me. Used me and then threw me away like I was some sort of tool! That's just what I was to her, something she could use.

Brian and Harry were the only people who truly knew me, Brian more so because he was just like me. Harry cared for me, he gave me a code. Brian talked about me as if I meant the world to him and I knew I did. Harry was sick, dying. Brian would have taken the one person I had to protect away from me. Neither of them lasted and they both left me with Deb, someone who could not even look at me anymore, someone who always said she needed and loved me but even needing me, loving me she could still not accept who I was.

Out of all of my victims, accomplishes, friends, family and general acquaintances, Isaak was the most overwhelming of them all. Whereas the killers I had know had no real control of their impulses, Isaak was always in control, like he had his own code like me and had been taught, like me. Cold and calculated but yet his smiles were real, not fake or wobbly, real. He was polite, a complete gentleman really. Other people had made me interested and I could put up with them for a while but Isaak was someone I really wanted to know, to understand. He was like me but yet he wasn't. He was better, better then both Brian and I combined. He faked so easily, fitting in with the public so well. He wore tailored suits and walked with a air of seniority but still liked to get dirty. He had a Dark Passenger.

I liked talking with him since the first moment we met when I'm pretty sure he had flirted with me, in a playful but challenging manner, seeing if I want play along. He did it every time we spoke; challenging me with his words, calling me "handsome" and wiggling his eyebrows at me, amazingly expressive steel eyes. Come play, won't you? I missed playing with another. I wish I had never killed my brother.

Yet the man terrified me. Isaak was the only person I had ever met that I felt small sparks of fear jolt up my spine when we spoke, my heart beat thumping in my ears. This man was dangerous; he was a leader of killers, he wanted me dead and could kill Deb also. I was so thankful that I thought of sending Harrison, Astor and Cody to their grandparents. Isaak wanted to play, I could tell that from his twisted humour. He was stronger then Brian, had more resources and would do more damage to those close to me. Why do I want to play? It's not even anything to do with killing, I just was to keep talking with him, keep whatever this thing is going.

* * *

Isaak was gay, got to admit I would never have guessed that.

"You should cut your losses, Isaak." I say "Go back to Kiev." You need to go, I don't want to kill you. In another place and time we could have been friends but here with Deb knowing what I am, what you are. I'm on the edge of being found out, I need to stay as close to the Dexter she knows as I can, to stop her from losing it and revealing my other self.

Isaak looks away, eyes gleaming with tears. It was so weird to see him like this but he still keep me on edge even in his weakened state "There's nothing waiting for me in Kiev." he said "Except for a large, well staffed house, a attractive secretary who occasionally pretends we're a item to keep the rumours from circulating." He looked back at me with shape steel eyes "Before I used to think that the one thing that made my life worth living in Kiev you tossed in the ocean a few weeks back." He spat.

It clicked in my head. That's why he hated me. Then why was he playing with me? "You and viktor were-"

He cut me off "Lovers?" he scoffed. His eyes softened sadly, looking back at his drink "Before I used to think so, yes lovers." He threw back the rest of his drink "That was before however."

Before? "Before what?"

He smirked, which might as well have been a frown for how clearly fake it was "Until I finally came to terms with the fact that it was all one-sided." he signalled to the barman for another drink "I guess that..." he picked up his refilled glass "Thank you."

I wanted to laugh. Still so polite.

He took a sip, face as straight as if he was drinking water "I always wanted to believe it was not true." he chest shook with a quick, light laugh. He looked into my eyes, to see what his words would do to me "You took from me the one with that money and power can't bring back. And now thanks to you, also the luxuries of life too. And yet" he took a sip from his drink.

I took one from mine. The beer was nice; nice taste along with that wonderful filling feeling like I had just had a meal.

"The thing I hate you for the most is making me realise that I was moving on." he sighed "That it would have ended sooner or later anyway."

How did I make him realise?

The Ukrainian looked down at his drink, moving it away.

If I had to guess I would say that he likely saw his quick drinking as pathetic. I smirked then frowned. "You don't have to do this." I pushed. Go back to Kiev.

He chuckled "No I guess not."

That was easy.

"I got all caught up in my plans to kill you that I did not even think of what to do next." he shook his head as if he was mentally tutting at himself "I suppose I'll take my funds and find some little attractive corner of the world, while away my days in comfort and anonymity." he picked up his drink, glaring at the dark liquid before taking a sip.

"Argentina." I took a sip from my beer. Since killing Hannah Mckay a while back, I had heard from Sal Price that she and Wayne Randall had planned to run away to Argentina. Personally, I had never planned any where to run to if I were to be found out. I had my go bag; containing a prepaid phone, some clothes and a large amount of money I had took out slowly throughout the years to not look suspicious. But now was different. I had Harrison, should I take him with me. Yes, I'm not leaving him here but what of Astor and Cody? Where should I go any way?

"Actually I was thinking more like Micronesia but each to their own." His grey eyes met my green "We are outsiders, you and I." he looked across the room "On the periphery." then looked back at me "Watching everybody else. Pretending we're just like them, but knowing we're not. Best we can hope for is to find a place where we don't have to pretend."

I broke the contact and took a sip of my beer, this was really starting to become too much for me. Just piss off already. Kiev. Go back to. Or Micronesia. Go to.

"Why did you kill Viktor?" he asked.

"He was a killer." I said, without looking at him but I could still feel that his eyes were on me.

"You know the one problem with hunting your own kind?"

I looked up at those words.

"You have no one who will ever truly know and understand you. No one else would ever stay." he gave a light smile "It's a shame really. Under different circumstances we could have been great friends."

"We still could." I said before thinking.

His smile grew slightly but his eyes squinted, looking for lies in my eyes. Turning his body to face me, he raised a hand, slowly so I knew it was coming. He placed it on the top of my head, moving his fingers inwards and outwards like he was stroking a pet. My hair curled around his fingers, as if returning the gesture.

Isaak looked into my eyes, his light eyes full of questions. What do you want from me? They seemed to say.

What do I want?

My eyes fluttered shut. I don't know what I want.

His hand pulled away.

I opened my eyes to see him downing the last of his drink. He was about to leave and for some reason that made me act. I reached out a hand, grabbed the back of his neck, pulled him towards me and kissed him. Completely out of the blue, a almost human response. Kisses were such odd things; you did not build up to them like sex and they were not routine like greetings or giving certain gifts on certain days. They just happened depending how two people felt. How very human.

I could feel Isaak tense under my hand but then he relaxed. With my eyes closed, I heard him place his glass back on the bar table, it made a rather loud thump which may have made a few heads turn our way.

The two of us sat there for about ten seconds, nether of us putting anything into the kiss, it was just a simple joining of lips but I liked it. He was the first to pull back, for air presumably. I opened my eyes to see that he had not moved that far away, maybe a few inches.

He smiled, lent forward and gave my lips a peak "Till next time." He paused for a second before standing, taking a few bills out of his wallet, throwing them onto the table, his eyes still on mine. We broke eye contact for one second while he walked around me but then we regained it. Just before he got to the door he gave me a little wave before walking out.

I watched the door for a second, not really knowing what I was expecting to happen. I drank the rest of my beer alone, a small smile on my face.


End file.
